I bought my husband a book, "What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting", by Marc Sedaka. I thought he could use a little assistance in how to support me during this time. Let me first say that I love my husband very much. He is a great husband and an excellent father to his son. But he isn't as invested in the the situation as I am. He is more laid back and believes is in just waiting to see what happens. While I am a control freak and will take charge of any situation I can. Like the book says men want children, but women need them.
When MB and I first go together he wasn't sure if he wanted any more kids. After we were dating for a year I told him he had to decide if he wanted to have another child or not. If he didn't then we would have to go our separate ways. It was a very difficult time for us. MB did a lot of soul searching and spoke to CB about it too, in the end he decided to have a child with me. I'm not really sure if made that decision because he really wants another child, or if he just wants to make me happy.
I do know that he can't feel the same way I do about the situation since he already has a child of his own and if we aren't successful with having a child together he won't have that emptiness in his life.
The other day he said to me that he never realized how the infertility was effecting me emotionally and that he needed to be more sensitive to the matter. I had mixed feeling to this statement, the first was being upset that he didn't realize the emotional stress I was going through all this time, but I was also happy that he decided to be more sensitive. But it was obvious that he was going to need all the help he could get.
I read "What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting" and I thought it was an excellent book. The author broke everything down in in simple terms. He explained the different tests and procedures using laymen terms and he kept everything concise for the husbands with short attention spans. I found it useful in clarifying some things I didn't understand either.
I definitely recommend buying this book your significant other or even just for you. It was one of the best books I have read about infertility. I will let you know what MB thinks about it after he reads it. I will also let know if his attitude changes at all.