Friday, October 14, 2011

Another Monh, Another Disappointed

I woke up this morning with a migraine and cramps, my unfriendly visitor made an unwelcome early arrival.  It is such a disappointment.  I go up and took some motrin and went back to be for an hour, but when I woke back up I still had a headache and cramps so I called into work and made a doctors appointment. I then crawled back into bed and curled up to my husband and cried until I fell back asleep.

My doctors appointment was at 12:00, they were really nice to squeeze me in. They gave me two shots, one for headache and one for the nausea. The shots were very painful, I think I regressed to a five year with my reaction, but my nurse was very sweet. Bu he shots did take pain away and my hip felt better after 30 minutes or so. I had Michael take me to TCBY for a treat afterwards.

I am feeling pretty sad. It feels silly mourn something that was never mine to begin with, but as each month passes I feel like my chances at motherhood are slipping away and it may never happen. That thought is devastating.

We won' be trying the IUI this cycle, because we are on our way out of town this week. We're heading to Orlando to visit the theme parks and Halloween Horror Nights.  I always try to find the bright side in every situation, so I guess in this case I ll be able to enjoy some cocktails and ride the roller coasters. Plus we can have fun trying the old fashion way.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

2 more days

Last night I dreamt it was Saturday and it was time for me to take my pregnancy test and when I went to take it it turned pink and I was pregnant with a girl.  I really would love to believe it was a premonition, but I am pretty sure dreaming of fish means you're pregnant.  Plus I was living at the Playboy Mansion because Hugh Hefner adopted me. Now that was fun, all the perks without having to sleep with Hef. (I can call him Hef, because I watched 3 seasons of Girls Next Door).

Anyway, I get to take the test in 2 days.  I really have no inkling one way or the other on the test will show.  I haven't been cranky which is the first symptom of that my cycle is about to start. On the other hand my face is all broken out, probably worse breakout I have had in a very long time, so maybe I am about to start.  Only time will tell.

There is only a 20% chance for the IUI o be successful, so I know I have to be prepared for he negative results, but I am so hopeful that it will be positive.  I have waited so long to have a child of my own and I am not getting any younger.  I just hope I don't have to wait too much longer

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Dreaded 2 Week Wait

I am currently  one week into the two week wait.  Last Saturday Michael and  I went in for the artificial insemination. I always feel a little trampy when we do that. I never notice any of the wives going in with their husbands when they have to make their donations.

It is always so hard walking the fine line between staying optimistic and realistic. There is only a 20% chance that the IUI will be a success and I desperately want it to be a success, though I realize it make make multiple tries with the IUI and that we may even have to try IVF. I am just very thankful that I have such good insurance through my job that both procedures are 100% covered. 

I think that if we are not successful this month I will skip October and try again in November.

I just have to stay positive and say my prayers.